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1st NAS for do-it-all needs... choice paralysis!

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Hi all - after running out of Google storage space, instead of paying them a pittance more I've decided to pay a lot more to stand up my own NAS/home server. I've gone deep down the rabbit hole, but am still feeling choice paralysis for a system I want to last a decade. Here's my use cases:

1. File storage and backup (consolidating all my misc external HDDs and setting up automated Time Machine backups for my and my wife's Macs)
2. Photo backup & management (replacing Google Photos and creating redundancy to iCloud photos. I'm OK if this is 3rd party (e.g. Immich) instead of 1st party)
3. Lightweight web server (hosting a personal website that would get very low traffic)
4. VPN hosting for remote access
5. Home Assistant hosting
6. Media Server (I listed this last, because I don't currently have a media library, and won't start building one tomorrow, but I'd like to build one over time... via CD/Blu-Ray rips, of course.  Angel  Plex or Jellyfin, start with Audio, then Direct Playback video, then Transcoding as needed)
7. Mail server? (I'd like to have a personal and secure non-Gmail account, but I've been a bit hesitant about this due to security concerns)

My contenders (unless you tell me otherwise):
1. Synology DS1522+: The leading candidate, only held back because it can't do native transcoding, and it's the most expensive. Maybe in a year or so I'd get an Nvidia Shield or similar device as a Plex server and use the NAS purely for media storage, but that just adds to the $$. Attracted to the strong software enabling nearly all uses cases (including mail server) with security and confidence
2. QNAP TS-464: Cheaper than Synology, with transcoding capabilities. I'm relatively tech savvy, though new to NAS, so I'm confident I could figure it out. Would QuTS be seamless enough for my non-technical wife?
3. DIY - Something like the Aoostar WTR Pro, even loaded with RAM is cheaper still. This would make standing up all the services I want a real deep-dive. I'm up for learning, but ongoing maintenance isn't something I want to spend hours a month on...

I'm running an Eero6 mesh network, so limited to 1Gbps for now, but future-proofing would be nice. With any choice I'd probably start by maxing RAM and getting a pair of 10-12TB Ironwolfs (target budget <$1k-1.2k).

I've watched all the NC vids, but a lot can change in tech in a few years. Maybe there isn't a bad choice among them, but help me decide! Thanks!
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